Han Solo and A Fatal Thing Called Love
by Hollyleaf The Black Cat
Summary: Han Solo reflects on life, love, and Leia before being put into carbon freeze.


**Author's Note:** This was originally posted on my AO3 on Nov 29 as part of a fic swap. Hope you all enjoy!

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Han Solo is going to die.

Well, eventually everyone is going to die but Han will probably beat most of them to it due to the amount of potentially fatal situations he'd been faced with. If one ever wanted to know what it felt like to be in a potentially fatal situation, just ask Han Solo.

Han couldn't even keep track of the tons of times he cheated death by the skin of his teeth. Of course, that was to be expected living the life of smuggler. Outrunning Imperial starships certainly didn't come without the risk of dying, no matter how fast the Millennium Flacon was.

Of course even with all the times he almost met his end as a smuggler, Han felt he'd almost been killed more times than in all those years combined when he joined up with that ambitious Luke Skywalker all to save her Highness, Princess Leia Organa.

The list was endless. Almost killed my stormtroopers (on Jakku, at least three times alone on the Death Star, at least a hundred times on various other planets over the past three years), almost killed by Imperial starships as many times since he joined Luke than when he was smuggling (leaving Jakku, leaving the Death Star, being chased around the galaxy with the Rebels these past three years, leaving Hoth just a few days ago), being hunted by bounty hunters wanting to kill him, almost crushed to death by the garage room walls on the Death Star, almost freezing to death to save Luke on Hoth, almost getting killed by asteroids after the evacuation from Hoth (which the evacuation also almost killed him), almost getting swallowed by what Han thought was a cave at first, etc., etc.

Surviving all that, one might say that Han was a very lucky man. But they also say luck runs out and the minute Lando opened that door to reveal Vader, Han knew that his probably had. He honestly thought when they were torturing that they'd just kill him but they didn't and Han thought he'd cheated death one more time.

But one could only cheat death so much before it found out the way to beat you. Standing in this chamber, drenched in an eerie lighting and steam, Han gets the bad feeling that this going to be his end.

"What's going on, _buddy_?" The the last word is filled with some bitterness toward Lando because Han just can't believe he's been betrayed by someone he considered a friend.

"You're being put into carbon freeze," Lando replies.

Carbon freeze. Ultimately if it works you're just in a state of hibernation until you're thawed. However, that's only if you can survive the freezing process itself, which a lot don't.

They must realize it at the same time because they turn to look at each other. Han can see the fear in Leia's eyes that he is trying to keep from showing in his own.

Some could say he could blame her for what's about to happen. It was her that Luke was after when he came to Han looking for a ship. And maybe the old Han might. The Han that had said it was "better her than me" when Luke said Vader was going to kill her.

But that's not the Han who's standing in front of her now. No, that Han changed the minute he saw her blast at Stormtroopers and commanded him to get into a garbage shoot. The minute he fell in love with her (not that he'd have admitted it then though).

Every time they fought or teased or looked at each other after that only made him fall in love with her more. Thinking back to just a few days ago when he said he was going to leave. Of course Han, being the cool space cowboy type, couldn't admit that he was conflicted about it because of his feelings for her. So he argued that it was her who couldn't let him leave because of her feelings. Looking at her now, He can't believe he even thought for a second he wanted to leave her.

Especially now that he felt she felt the same way. He was pretty sure that kiss on the Falcon told him all he needed to know. He only wished he could have kissed her longer until that stupid, rambling droid interrupted.

He'd kiss her right now just to know what her lips felt like one more time before he goes. If his hands weren't tied up, he'd hold her again just to know what her body felt like against his (even if the first time was an accident). He'd do anything just to stay with her.

But that's not what the world has planned for Han. And everyone feels like they know that, even Chewie.

Chewie starts screaming and knocking Stormtroopers off the platform and C3PO is freaking out at him and Han just needs to get him calm.

Chewie's his best friend, the most loyal companion he's ever had and between him and Luke, Han knows Leia will be in good hands.

"Hey, hey! Listen to me, Chewie. This won't help me," begins Han as he touches the Wookiee's hands. "Save your strength; there will be another time. The princess - you have to take care of her. Do you hear me? Huh?"

The Wookiee screeches to signal he does then calms down as Leia moves over to him. Han looks at her one last time. Her brown eyes are so beautiful and, damn it, it feels like he's falling in love with her all over again every time he looks into them.

So he pulls her into a kiss because he's sure as hell not going to die without kissing her again. Her lips are soft but she kisses him with a forcefulness that implies she doesn't want it to end because the second it does they'll both have to face reality again. Sadly, it's over as quick as it began because he's suddenly being dragged away from her by Stormtroopers.

They situate him on the platform and he stares at her again. This time her eyes are a mix of fear, sadness, and determination. The kind of determination that comes when one can finally say something they've been wanting to say but couldn't.

"I love you," she says.

Han doesn't even let surprise cross his face. Deep down he's relieved to actually hear her say the words but he also feels he already knew that she did. He could say that he loves her too, that he doesn't want to lose her but Han's not the mushy type. Besides, he's pretty sure she understands his feelings loud and clear by now.

"I know," he says in classic Han Solo fashion.

Suddenly, he can feel the platform sinking downward and he knows that this is it. Han Solo is going to die.

But a part of it feels it's worth it simply for the fact that a guy like him met an intelligent, tough, beautiful princess and they fell in love. Maybe it's worth it because, while he might be safe and sound (for the most part) in some cantina somewhere if he hadn't gotten into all this, he'd never have known the taste Leia's lips, the softness of her hands, the sound of her voice.

He smiles softly as he looks at her one last time. His only hope is that she can make it through all this mess, safe and sound and get a happy ending.

Then the carbon shoots out at him and the last thing he thinks of before the pain takes over is her having that happy ending with him.

 **XXXXX**

It will be years later, resting together in the same bed that they'll talk about what happened. She'll talk about how afraid she was of losing him; he'll say he knows. She'll talk about how she can't imagine life without him; he'll say he knows.

She'll say she loves him; he'll say he knows.

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Reviews and constructive criticism are much appreciated! ;D


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